Finding True Love Means Loving Yourself First

It took me most of my life to figure this very simple concept out: Being in a loving relationship requires that both people love themselves first and the hardest person to love is yourself.

Time after time, we all have become entangled with relationships where we try to get someone to fall in love with us when all along we are the ones who need to fall in love with us. And have you ever tried

to love someone who does not love themselves? You will find yourself giving body and soul to get the job done. When one does not love themselves it is impossible for them to love another. Why is that?

Looking for love outside yourself is a losing battle. If you don't love yourself, you will continue to draw relationships that mirror that back to you. We've all heard of the law of attraction and how it works. If your vibration sends out a signature that says I need someone else to love me to make me whole, you will get someone who will abuse you, so that you love yourself enough to figure it out.

I heard this story long ago and it stuck with me. Love is like pizza. Let's say you are starving and have no food in the house and your cupboards are bare. Someone knocks on the door and says I will give you all the pizza you want as long as I can control you and your life. You are hungry, scared and alone and you don't know where your next meal is going to come from, so you let them in. And for awhile your hunger is quenched. But as the relationship continues, you realize this person doesn't really care about you. They just want to hurt you, use you.

In another scenario, the same person comes to the door. However, this time your cupboards are full and you have all the food and pizza you'll ever need. You say to the person "No thanks. I don't need pizza. Perhaps we can be friends and we can share our food, if you wish." If that person really had the capacity to love you, they would agree, but if they only wanted to use you, they would leave.

See the difference. When you are needy and require someone else to fill you with love, you are likely to let them in and allow them to treat you badly. You think you require their love to complete you. When you love yourself, you know you are already complete and no one can change that and you realize it is better to be alone then with someone who doesn't love or respect you.

When a person loves themselves, they eat right. They love their body and treat it with respect. They exercise and get the proper rest and nutrition. They are friends with like-minded people, work for employers who respect them, and know they don't need anything outside themselves to make them happy or whole. When you meet them, they glow with positive energy. Therefore they magnetize to them people who exude those characteristics.

If you are still saying, there aren't enough good people out there to date then you need to change that tune and start singing a different one. You are the only person who doesn't allow love into your life, not the other way around. And if you keep drawing people that abuse you, that's the vibe you are putting out there.

And for whatever reason, if you are alone, then you want to be alone. Either you don't love yourself enough, trust enough or haven't worked out your issues enough to let someone in. Life doesn't do you. You do life. So quit complaining and get out there, and if you keep drawing the same type of person that you don't want, look inside and work it out. It isn't them, it's you.