Where the Journey Began

I left Manhattan in October of last year because the heyday of the real estate industry was on its downward slide. I had been laid off at the end of 2008 from a real estate brokerage house after the stock market crash the same year. Manhattan real estate or so it was said was isolated from the rest of the country's woes, but it wasn't so. I don't think it has found its bottom yet, especially in Manhattan.

I was offered a job at a public relations agency that shall remain nameless for its owner could have played the lead role of the Devil Wears Prada without coaching.  Having heard about her reputation as a hard woman to work for, I took the job reluctantly. And soon after I was miserable. As the real estate industry in New York continued its descent, she started losing business almost immediately and began threatening layoffs. She had already cut the staff back to four-day work weeks, and I had taken a $55,000 pay decrease to take the job. So I took that as the final blow to get the heck outta Dodge and seek my happiness out West.

So after much research, week-long vacation in Albuquerque, NM, and a lot of soulsearching, I put my household items in a moving POD and headed to the Southwest. At first, I loved it, but it soon became a struggle to survive. Long story short, I couldn't find full-time employment as the middle of the country wasn't faring much better economically than New York City.

However, many spiritual revelations began to emerge that otherwise might not have. I think Spirit needed me to be quiet. I believe it was literally my desert period, my dark night of the soul.

I realized how materialistic I had become, how selfish I was. And how much I identified with labels. After all, I did spend seven years in Manhattan, the label capitol of the US. I had criticized those whose God was money, but I had also succumbed somewhat to the city that represents greed and capitalism at its very core. You were judged not only on what clothes you wore but where you lived in the city. It just wasn't me, but apparently, you are forever changed by the experience. Hobnobbing with the snobs did have its perks after all. I drank the best champagne, had the luxury of car service, attended parties to write home about, was wined and dined and had the opportunity to date millionaires. But it was an empty existence, and I found it hard to trust anyone, especially those who wanted to buy the ink I had as a journalist. I knew it was merely their way of ensuring they would only get favorable reviews in the press.

So I grew tired of the parties and the perks and wanted to change. I wanted a life with meaning and Spirit was calling me. I prayed for change and so when the desert of New Mexico served it up to me, I could hardly complain. My roommate situation went belly up, nearly getting violent at one point. Three jobs that I thought were pretty much a sure thing dissipated into thin air. So I worked Christmas retail and waited for Spirit. But it seemed Spirit was asking me to connect with my inner self, so I sat with myself, and I prayed. I meditated, while the money was dwindling ever so close to homelessness. My family helped. Thank God.

And a weird thing happened. As I was driving the streets of Albuquerque, I saw a license plate that said THNK JIM. At first, I ignored it, but after several weeks of no movement in the job arena, and the urgings of my family to do something, anything, I called my former husband.

And he said, "come home." I left him 12 years before, but we parted ways in an amicable way. So, here I am in South Louisiana once more. Trying to figure out what the heck I am supposed to do with the rest of my life. But no answers are coming to the fore. I am sending out resumes to Dallas, relaxing, resting, working out and enjoying the time off. My ex and I are just friends at this point, and he enjoys the company as much as I do. After all, we were married for 18 years, and if we had stayed married, it would be 30 years. We both didn't get remarried. But that is another subject entirely.

So I am waiting again for Spirit to move me...hoping it will be Dallas, but knowing I don't have all the answers. I forced New Mexico to happen, and although I learned much about myself, it wasn't to be my final destination. So I am here following the light...wherever that takes me.

Namaste